Shining the Light that God Shone for Me | An HIA Impact Story
My name is Jessica Brackett, I am originally from Tahlequah Oklahoma, and by the grace of God, today, I am three and a half years sober!
I was born to 2 very young parents. My mom and dad were both 15 when I was conceived, so my grandparents (who have been married for 54 years) took on more of the parenting roles in my life, always showing me affection, love, and attention whenever they were around me. They made sure my three brothers and I were always provided for and I am so very grateful for the stability and guidance they provided.
Today, I know that my mother did the best she could, with what she knew as a young mom, especially because my father was absent. Unbeknownst to me, I disregarded the feelings I felt as a young girl because of his absence, instead taking on the role of “protector” and/or “caretaker” of my brothers. Plus, I could always find comfort and relief by taking a short bike ride down the road to my grandparents’ house.
I didn’t grow up around drugs or alcohol. We attended church at Free Will Baptist Church when I was younger, and then… we didn’t.
From 3rd grade to 7th grade, I attended Grand View Elementary School, where my grandfather was on the school board, as usual (I always used to say he was on every board except a surfboard or a skateboard). I participated in competitive cheerleading during those years and really excelled, but what I didn’t know was that something that seemed innocent and “good for me” became an outlet to find a false sense of self.
When I was young I would master a skill and be on to the next one, and at this time, cheer was everything to me. To distract myself from my negative emotions, I channeled everything into becoming the best in cheer.
In 7th grade, my mother remarried and we moved about a half-hour away to Locust Grove. That meant I moved away from my grandparents and into a place where there was no more cheer… and my world came crashing down. At age 13, I was trying to find myself, in a new place, with no outlet, and what felt like no security or stability. I began to resent my mom for making us move. This marked the beginning of my rebellion.
I began to search for validation in older men and became very promiscuous. This search never left me satisfied but it quickly led me to begin drinking alcohol and sneaking out to party at age 14. By my sophomore year at Locust Grove I was expelled and kicked off the cheerleading squad for attending a party where I was taken advantage of by three other students who recorded it on video and sent it around the whole school. Humiliated, I dropped out of high school, but things got even worse.
I became physically and verbally abusive to my mom and things were extremely out of control, so at age 16, I left Locust Grove and moved in with my dad back in Tahlequah, even though I felt like I barely knew him. He and his wife Jenny took me in and made me finish high school and looking back now, I'm really glad they did. Jenny took me to church at Crescent Valley in Ft. Gibson, but I found myself depressed and still very out of place. To this day, I’m grateful my dad stepped in and gave me a place to land, but even though my rebellion had calmed down, there was no “healing”.
After graduation, I went to beauty college. I also started smoking marijuana and going to clubs. My search for fulfillment was BACK and quickly spiraled out even further out of control. I was introduced to methamphetamine by 18 and removed myself from my family entirely. I didn’t go home for holidays or call for any reason whatsoever (unless I was hungry, which was usually just an attempt to see if they would give me money). My aunt Jennifer, my dad, and stepmom Jenny all began to notice the “signs” and started to sound the alarm early on. But no one wanted to believe it!
I moved back in with my grandparents at age 20 when I found out I was pregnant with my first son, Jay. I finished beauty school, and quickly found out I was pregnant again with my second son, Colby. I was “sober” for five years during this time, doing my best to hold it together for the sake of my kids. I always told myself that, when I had a family one day, I would do ANYTHING to keep it together.
The father of my children and I stayed together for six years, but he began to use and I began to cover up for him, thinking this would eventually work out and we would be fine. Until one night, out of nowhere, he beat me nearly unrecognizable. I stayed sober for another year after this, but there was so much I was dealing with now as a single mom that it wasn’t long until I started the same pattern… Men, drugs, trauma, repeat. This would continue for years.
My addiction progressed so quickly at this point that I asked my grandparents to take guardianship of my boys, and I was in and out of their lives and never really present. I carried so much shame, guilt, humiliation, and trauma that I had internally deemed myself a lost cause. Once my grandparents had custody of my kids, things got worse—I started to use heroin and fentanyl. Not to mention, throughout these years of endless searching, I wrecked numerous vehicles and saw a friend get shot.
At 29 years old, I was completely broken to the point of contemplating suicide, and no amount of drugs could ease the pain. I very vividly remember having handfuls of drugs, and begging God one night to “End me or end this!”
Now: are you ready for the comeback?!
God quickly convicted the hearts of my family members to be done with me. I was suicidal, in psychosis, and fading quickly when they kicked me out in the middle of July. I couch-surfed for a couple of weeks and had multiple run-ins with the law which would lead me to the crisis center three different times. In a small town, people know things…
Eventually I was picked up by a cop named Billy Kammerzel, who I KNOW was sent to me to deliver a divine message of hope that was right on time for me to hear. I was out of my mind and out of options, but officer Billy told me, “If you want something different, you can achieve it. But only YOU can make that decision.” He so graciously took me right back to the crisis center I had just walked 20 miles from, and my journey to recovery began.
I went to The Oaks in McAlester, Oklahoma, and began to read the book of Proverbs. I honestly didn’t know why I was reading the bible, because I had FORGOTTEN I cried out to the Lord for help! It wasn’t on my radar that He was moving on my behalf.
I turned 30 years old while I was in treatment and I had just enough clarity to recognize that I didn’t want my life to look the way it did before. That was all I really knew! My family had seen me go to treatment once before and come back only to fall back into the same patterns. I knew I needed more help. Hope is Alive came to The Oaks and did a presentation, sharing their testimonies and stories unashamedly and talking about Jesus.
My immediate reaction was, “I can’t quote scriptures, so I’m not going to fit in” and “I haven't been to church since I was a kid so I won't fit in.” But beyond those lies, I saw joy, hope, camaraderie; I saw God’s light shining through them and I wanted what they had. I even pulled one of them aside, and told them, “One day I will do what you just did.” (share my testimony) I had no idea where that even came from because I was consumed by fear.
When I got to HIA, THE LOVE OF GOD HIT ME. I had cried out to God, and here I was in a place to learn about how I could follow Jesus. He heard me! Though I had no idea what that meant, I just decided to surrender and do what the women around me did. They experienced joy and shared vulnerably, talking about their kids and struggles, and even though that felt foreign to me, I felt safe enough to let my walls down.
When women from Crossings Church came in to do Bible study with us, it truly broke something inside of me. In a good way! The idea that no one cared anymore about “people like me” went away. These women showed up consistently and genuinely cared about ME! They showed up the same, every single time, and always pointed me to Jesus. A Jesus who knew humiliation on the cross, who could identify with my humiliation in high school and heal me from the trauma that started this whole journey.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times the enemy would come at me with his lies, trying to convince me that I should be with my kids instead, or I should be this or that in order to get me to leave HIA. Or how many times my program manager had to lovingly and gracefully tell me to stop talking to guys in AA.
After a year in the program, I was given an opportunity to work for HIA as a regional outreach coordinator where I started to share my testimony inside treatment centers! Still full of uncertainty and doubt, I said “yes”. I let go of everything that kept me in bondage and decided to rise to the occasion. This was God doing for me what I could never do for myself.
I graduated from HIA in January of 2024 and began to do some deep therapy work! In 2025, I moved home to begin to reconcile with my family and my boys, who are now 11 and 13 years old. I am still working for HIA as a regional outreach coordinator, developing new relationships with churches and treatment centers in new areas! I am still doing therapy work and GOD IS NOWHERE CLOSE TO FINISHED! I reckon that he is just getting started inside my family.
I spent years endlessly searching in the wrong places for some kind of father figure, and that only led me to destruction. Now I know THE FATHER! Having experienced His unconditional love, I want to tell everyone about it!
Today, I am a fully present mother, granddaughter, daughter, and sister! I will share this hope and what we do at HIA with anyone who will listen. I have a lot to speak about with families who might be suffering in silence, and speaking to stigma because it's a big reason I stayed in my darkness for so long. I am extremely grateful for my God's hand over my life, for His provision and divine protection through the chaos, for my family's forgiveness, and for lifelong friends, mentors, and a thriving community that I’m part of today. HIA gave me these tools and allowed me to share the GOSPEL in an industry that desperately needs it and I am eternally grateful.
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