My Why | Jackie Matlock

Helpless, Homeless, and Hopeless | An HIA Impact Story

This story is from Jackie Matlock, who currently works as an intern for Hope is Alive and who recently celebrated 14 months of continuous sobriety.

Helpless. Homeless. Hopeless. That may be how part of my story started—however, that is not how this book of my life will end!

The early years of my life can be summed up in one word: chaotic. Physical, psychological, and sexual  abuse caused PTSD and I quickly developed a distortion of reality. Escaping reality was vital; it seemed to help me survive.

I experienced what it was to be black out drunk for the first time at the age of six and began smoking marijuana at the age of twelve. I tried my first hard drug when I was fifteen. It was then that I had begun to write my own story. Even though I had been told using drugs was wrong, it felt right. Proverbs 14:12 says there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.

As the years went on, I was confident my addiction would kill me… and I was okay with that. John 10:10 says the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but that Jesus has come that you may have life and have it to the fullest. I walked through the doors of Hope is Alive and I surrendered. I wanted “Life.” But how could someone like me have a good, normal, and full life?

Romans 3:24 says that all are justified freely by God’s grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Wow, what an amazing concept. As I allowed grace to fill my life, I began to understand God had a plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I felt something I had not felt in a long time… Hope. Hope for a better future than I could have ever imagined.

Today life brings about daily challenges that I can face with hope. I still have challenges and face adversity every day. But with the help of HIA, trusted leaders, and mentors, I have begun to live out God’s calling for my life. For the first time in a long time, Hope is alive in my life.

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